The Untold Story
by FallingSnow14
Summary: They say I'm evil, insane. That I snapped one day and went psycho. Oh, how wrong they are. If only they knew what he had done to me... If only they felt my suffering... This is the untold story. !Read the warning inside!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again, everyone. I'm back for the summer, and hopefully will be updating more frequently now. To celebrate, I've written a short story about Hollyleaf, an alternate story to explain why she did what she did. I guarantee you'll understand her pain by the end, and realize that she wasn't actually crazy. Enjoy, and review! **

**Warning: I know this story is marked Teen, but it **_**could**_** be set as Mature. This story contains some suggested language, minor violence and some sexual content. I have been hesitant about writing this, but have done my best to keep it from becoming too vulgar.**

…

Lovely autumn sunshine fell through the tree branches to the forest floor below, dappling the ground with patches of light and shadow. Crunchy red and brown leaves were heaped in piles like snowdrifts at the roots of the towering red oaks and maples. Small songbirds flitted in and out of the tree branches above, letting out the occasional trill or squawk. Overall, it was a beautiful day.

Hollypaw lifted her head, a cool breeze ruffling her inky fur. The chill in the air was pleasant, but it was a clear reminder of the hard work that lay ahead in preparation for the coming winter. She really should be hunting right now, doing the responsible thing instead of messing around like Lionpaw was. Rolling her eyes at the thought of her ridiculous brother, she prowled forward like a black panther, on the hunt.

Crouching at the base of an ash tree, Hollypaw closed her eyes and swiveled her ears, letting her hearing range extend further into the forest. She sat quietly for a few moments, very still, then caught the slight sounds of small claws scrabbling over wood. Her green eyes flashed open, and she slipped like a shadow towards the source.

Paws hit the earth softly, a silent hunter bringing a swift death to her prey. The gray squirrel, burying an acorn in preparation for spring, had not noticed Hollypaw's approach from behind. She was hidden around the smooth curve of another tree, glittering eyes locked on her target. Her leg muscles, tensed, ready, then-

The critter never knew what hit it. The fatal blow landed perfectly. The limp creature hung from the young cat's jaws, its eyes still open. Hollypaw grinned, pleased. The kill was done expertly, and more importantly, this squirrel was large enough to feed two cats. 'It must've been storing up fat to burn while it was hibernating,' she thought. 'Well, now it won't have to worry about surviving winter, will it?'

"Excellent work, Hollypaw," a quiet voice said. The she-cat nearly leaped out of her skin in surprise, whirling around. Ashfur stood there, staring at her, unblinking.

Muttering around her prey, she said, "Thank you." She stood awkwardly in silence for a few moments. Ashfur continued to stare at her, his face unreadable. To break the sudden quiet she blurted, "Where's Lionpaw? Did he catch anything?"

"Oh yes," Ashfur said, looking away at last. "He did well. You both will be fine warriors." Raising his gray head, he yowled, "Lionpaw! Come on, we're going back to camp!' Seconds later, Lionpaw stumbled through the brush, carrying a crow.

"There was a rabbit _right there, _I could've had it if you hadn't had yelled!" The young tom moaned. "I was so close…"

"Quit your whining, boy, I said we're going back to camp," Ashfur snapped to his apprentice. Turning smartly, he strode away in the direction of ThunderClan's home. Still muttering irritably, Lionpaw trailed after him. Hollypaw watched them for a moment, looked back, then hurried after.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to my reviewers from the last chapter! And I apologize for the wait, there shouldn't be much now because the story is mostly written out.**

**!WARNING! If you didn't read the warning in the first chapter, read it now. This chapter is very intense and deals with mature subject matter, and only intended for mature readers.**

…

"Hollypaw."

The black she-cat cringed. Not him. "Yes, Ashfur?" she called out weakly.

She'd always felt an aversion to her brother's mentor. Hollypaw couldn't name it, but she'd always gotten the feeling that there was something _wrong_ about him. She knew he once had a thing with Squirrelflight, but that wasn't it. It was the way he stared at her sometimes, the way he spoke to her and singled her out. It made her extremely uncomfortable to be around him, especially when they were alone.

The older tom padded to her side. It was dusk, the moon already high in the sky, and she was ready to go curl up in the apprentices' den. But since Ashfur was a warrior, whatever he wanted would have to come first. "Firestar believes that there have been humans crossing the northern border recently, and he wants me to investigate it. Since you're such talented apprentice, I figured you could assist." His voice was flat, but there was something unnerving about it. "We need to go now, at night, when the humans will be there."

"Okay," she said, cringing internally. Anything but a midnight stroll with this cat, anything! "Are we just going to observe?"

"Yes, yes. Just to observe," Ashfur said. He turned away without a word and led the way out of camp. Hollypaw followed after him, resigning herself to a long, dull night.

They made their through the trees, to the northern border, which was quite far from camp. Miserable and tired, Hollypaw trudged after Ashfur until they reached the designated area. There, he stopped and turned towards her, watching her with glowing blue eyes. Ignoring his stare, Hollypaw sat with her back to him, peering out into the darkness for any signs of humans. She heard Ashfur sit a few paces behind her.

After an hour or so, Hollypaw's eyelids began to grow heavy. Nothing had disturbed their watch at all, and she was sure the humans weren't going to show. Shivering slightly as a cold wind blew past, she wrapped her tail tighter against her paws.

"Are you cold?" Ashfur said suddenly. After the hour of silence, his voice spooked her. Why did he always have to do that?

"No," Hollypaw lied. Why should it matter to him anyways? She turned around so she could see him.

Ashfur shrugged and said nothing for a few more moments. He didn't even look at her, just watched the ground. Finally, his low voice reached her ears. "Hollypaw, what do you think of your mother?"

Surprised and suspicious, Hollypaw answered, "I think she's a good warrior and a caring mother, and am proud to be her kit."

"That's good to hear," Ashfur said quietly. His voice was tinged with something she couldn't place. "But you are wrong."

"Excuse me?" Hollypaw said incredulously. _What the…?_

"She is not a good cat. I once thought she was, but she is bad." Ashfur's head whipped up to stare at her with those eerie blue eyes of his, seeming as if he could look into her soul. "She did a terrible thing to me. She told me she loved me, and I believed her." He paused for a moment, tears pooling in his eyes. Suddenly his face twisted in rage. "I believed her! I believed her, that b****, I believed her lies!"

Hollypaw gasped, shocked. Her mouth gaped, but no words came out. She was too stunned to even think straight.

"Your mother is not a good cat!" Ashfur snarled, rising to his paws. He paced back and forth as he ranted. "Your mother is a w****, a s***, because she took my love and my happiness and my _life _and she tore it apart! She laughed as I bled! I hate her!"

Hollypaw scrambled to her feet, terrified. Who cared if she had to listen to her elders, Ashfur was insane! Mad! Demented! Whirling away, she bounded towards camp.

The gray tom was on her in a second, tackling her to the ground and pinning her there with his weight. Hollypaw shrieked and thrashed wildly, but it was no use. His hot fur pressed her against the earth.

"And you, you're just like everyone else! Oh, Squirrelflight's so perfect, we _love_ her!" His biting words were like acid, sarcastic and bitter. "She's not! She's a wicked, selfish hag who mocks my pain! She doesn't even _know_!" His words grew to a scream, and Hollypaw started to cry.

In another desperate bid for freedom, she sank her teeth into Ashfur's forepaw, breaking the skin. He yanked his foot away with a hiss, and in that moment she exploded into a writhing ball of fur. Twisting every which way, trying to find a weak spot, pummeling him with her paws, claws unsheathed. Her panicked screeches were shrill and painfully loud, but her pleas for help fell on deaf ears.

After a few moments of scuffling, Ashfur brought his paw down on the back of her skull with enough force to rattle her. Stunned for a moment, he used the opportunity to grip Hollypaw by a hind leg and drag her back to the center of their small clearing. She lay gasping for breath, trying to think clearly, as Ashfur moved to stand by her side, one heavy paw on her chest.

His next words chilled her to the bone. "If I can't have Squirrelflight, then I'll have you." He smiled cruelly when he saw her eyes widen in fear. "You're so like your mother. Beautiful, brave, independent. But you, unlike her, will share in some of my pain." With that, he bent down and bit onto her scruff. Using that and one of his paws as leverage, he forced her over onto her belly.

Hollypaw didn't try to resist this time, not because of the blow he had given her before, but because she was too shocked that this was actually happening. It felt unreal, like a nightmare, though the dead leaves and dirt her face was pressed against felt very real.

Ashfur moved around to stand behind her. Hollypaw knew that he intended to mate with her. She felt his teeth bite into her scruff yet again, felt his forelegs tighten around her hips, and it began…

Time seemed meaningless to Hollypaw. She felt that this would never end, that she was trapped forever in this horrible nightmare. She wished she could die, right there and then, just _die_…

Eventually it was over. Ashfur backed away, and as he did, Hollypaw let out a piercing scream and collapsed. She curled into a ball, shaking, staring up at the sky. The stars seemed cold and uncaring as they stared down on her tonight.

The gray tom said nothing for a moment, just stood and watched her weep. After a while he spoke. "You will tell nobody about this. This will be our little secret. If anyone finds out, I'll deny it. No one will believe a stupid apprentice over a warrior." Contrasting with his rage earlier, his voice was back to the emotionless monotone it always was when he spoke to her. "If you tell _anyone_, I guarantee that you and Lionpaw will _never _become warriors. Do you really want to hurt your brother that way? Hmm? Do you?"

Hollypaw flinched and said nothing, just waiting for him to go away.

"I can make your life miserable, kitten. I can ruin everything you have. I can make you hurt just as much as I do." His words grew hard at the last sentence, but then became soft, oily, almost a purr. "But you don't want that, do you? You want to just go about with your business. If you hold your tongue, then that's exactly what you can do. No need to worry at all." He paused, then strode over to her, placing one clawed paw under her chin and forcing her face up to look at his. "You will tell nobody, ever. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Hollypaw whispered. She closed her eyes and turned her face away. Ashfur said nothing more as he left, leaving her to sob out her shame, alone in the forest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey again everyone! Thanks to all y'all who reviewed the last chapter: allygirl56, Firefrost and Flamepelt, Lu-oka-na-mi, and Crescent of Night.**

**But let's see, what do I want to say about the story… Well, I'm very pleased with the way it's come out. It's my newest story, so it's my best in terms of writing alone. Also, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. Some of the chapters are long, some are really short. It's just the way the writing ended up.**

**Short as it is, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Not too exciting, but I did try to explain Ashfur's side of it too (pain and rage bordering on dementia). However, this is Holly's story, so I don't focus on him too much.**

**PS- I put a new poll on my profile out of boredom, so you can check it out.**

…

Hollypaw was a mess for the next few days, everyone noticed. She stumbled into camp mid-morning, mumbling something about feeling sick to her stomach. Leafpool escorted her to the medicine den where Hollypaw promptly threw up.

She remained in the medicine den for a few days, using the excuse of bellyache to hide from her duties. She avoided everyone, even her own family, sitting alone in Leafpool's den as she wrestled with her emotions.

Shame was probably the strongest. She was so sickened by what Ashfur had done it took all of her strength not to vomit every time she ate. Fear was another big one, too. Would he actually ruin her life if she told anyone? What if someone did find out, would they look at her as a disgrace? And worst, what if Ashfur came back for her? The thought was always on the edge f her mind. Confusion was there, as well as disgust, anger, helplessness, and hate. Her thoughts were a tangled mass, and Hollypaw spent her time trying to unravel them.

Eventually she felt well enough to return to the apprentices' den. Lionpaw was glad to have her back, though Jaypaw still seemed suspicious. Hollypaw knew he could walk in the dreams of others, and so she did everything she could to make sure he, and everyone else, _never_ found out.

Unlike Hollypaw, Ashfur was in a particularly good mood. He had been quite cheerful the past few days, but no one knew why…

The gray tom knew. After forcing some of his pain on Hollypaw, his heart felt a little lighter. And since the she-cat was Squirrelflight's daughter, all the better that she suffer. It was almost as good as hurting Squirrelflight. Ashfur grinned humorlessly, his mind forming new plans.


	4. Goodbye

Hello, everyone. If you are reading these words, I thank you for your continued loyalty to my stories even after months of neglect.

Sadly, this is the end of my FanFiction career. I urge you to read my goodbye message on my profile, which explains why I am leaving this amazing site.

I am posting this message at the end of all my unfinished stories. There is a 99% chance that these stories will never be completed, but I don't want to leave anyone hanging, so if you wish to know how this story ends, please PM me or email me at . If you are hoping that that 1% might happen where I do work up the motivation to finish and you don't want the ending to be spoiled (or you simply don't care) then don't PM me. Only those who ask will be told.

I'm sorry for doing this to you, and I thank you all so much everything. Writing on this site has really made me enjoy writing in general, and I hope to be an author someday. Thanks for everything, and goodbye!


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